Chris and I went to Casper, WY this week. Why Casper, you ask. I'll tell you why. Chris had an interview at Casper College since his contract with BYU ends this summer. Something I need to preface before I share my story.....growing up, I lived very close to the Wyoming border and that was close enough for me. I pledged to NEVER live in Wyoming under any circumstances.
Well, my situation since high school has changed somewhat. My family needs income. State school in Utah aren't hiring due to budget issues. BYU (and all other LDS employment) has had a hiring freeze for the past year. That doesn't bode well with us. So Chris has applied to several schools outside the area and Casper is the one that called back. I decided...hmmmm....maybe Wyoming isn't so bad afterall.
On our final evening in Casper, Chris and I went to Outback. We hadn't been there in years and thought that as long as Casper was reimbursing us, we might as well go to places we don't normally go (it's above our usual eating out budget). After being lost for quite some time and being able to explore the city via car, we called Outback and they directed us to their location. The waitress sat us down at our corner booth. There were cowboys seated directly behind me, and to our side, several couples sat. The cowboys were engineers from an oil company. The couples to our side....well...they are what lead me to my breakdown. I couldn't help but eavesdrop on their conversation. They were loud. They talked mostly of an upcoming wedding. "Who's going to give her away." "Her father, I think." "I hope so." They talked of the bachelorette party and of calling in sick for work due to hangovers. One asked, "Who's going to watch your trailer?" All the while, I was thinking, "NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Was there anyone in this town I would be able to relate to? Were there any Moms out there in healthy marriages with children as lovely as mine (okay, that's impossible)? Would I be moving to Casper, away from my family, away from friends, and away from all that I knew to a place I swore never to go?!! The tears slowing slipped out from my eyes. Chris caught me wiping one of those tears off my cheeks and then I was a goner. The faucet had been turned on. I did pretty good keeping it under control, but more than once, I did the cryer's sucking of air hiccup thing. Good thing the music was loud. I feel like I need to tell you that Casper is in fact a very nice city with no unsafe neighborhoods and greats shops and a number of recreational activities available. To tell you the truth, I think I was just missing my children desperately and feeling super homesick. I know that if I have my little family with me, I'll be fine wherever we go. And, yes! I would still move to Wyoming. I think it would be great to get out of my comfort zone. Back when I was in high school, I didn't have a husband and kids who would follow me wherever I went. I could go anywhere...as long as they were with me.