Thursday, May 13, 2010

Insight into my Insanity

I lost my keys.  Well, I'd thought I'd lost my keys.  It started on Monday when I was rounding up all my gear to head to work when I first noticed.  The keys weren't hanging on their peg.  Try my purse.  Empty the purse.  Clean up the emptied purse.  No keys.  Remove all couch cushions.  No keys.  AAaaauuuugggghhhh!  No time.  Have to get to work.  Grab spare keys.

You might think, well, you've got spare keys, so what's your problem?  I had a spare van key.  That would get me to work.  It doesn't lock my house and it doesn't lock up the doors at night when I leave work.  So, I secretly exited out the back sliding glass door (I didn't want any cat burglars seeing their easy entrance).  At work, I had to grovel to borrow someone else's keys.  I hate doing this because then it makes me look unorganized and completely scattered.  I felt unorganized and completely scattered.  Oh, well.  Pride swallowed.

Tuesday:  I again revisit my purse, all couches, under my children's bed, on their beds, under and over and through my bed, in all bookshelves....and anywhere else I could imagine to look.  I even did a little cleaning hoping that would reward me the blessing of keys magically reappearing on the floor I had just picked up.  It never happened.  Day 2 of swallowing my pride at work.  This time, there were questions and little lectures, "There are only 2 places I put my keys....."  Let me just tell you, I had already gone through the wringer of self-loathing, saying...well, screaming to myself.."Why didn't you just hang up your keys where they are supposed to go?!!  NEVER put them down in some random place because you KNOW you are going to lose them!!!"  Yes, I was internally screaming and that can get pretty loud.  I told my husband to offer a $1 reward to whoever could find them.  Todd looked in our van.  I'd already searched our car since that's that last place I remembered having them.  Did I give them to the kids to unlock the door?  Did I set them down somewhere so I could hand sweep the dirt that had fallen out of a mother's day flower pot?  I DON'T REMEMBER?

So, I got home from work feeling dejected.  I was going to have another day of searching for keys and have to report my keys officially gone.  Then, inspiration struck me.  I had unlocked the van to check something.  I mentioned this to Chris and he headed out.  He was gone over 5 minutes.  The van isn't that big.  Not a good sign.  When he came in he said, "It's like checking off another room" (that we had searched thoroughly).  Then I saw him walking down the hall.....with my keys.  The stinker.  After giving him his due lecture, he told me he had found them in the back seat.  Well, I never got in the back seat.  Turns out, Shem wanted to look for something in the van that he had lost.  He grabbed my keys and the rest is history.  Guess what?!!  I'm not crazy.  I'm not unorganized and scattered.  Well...maybe I am, but not this time.  I couldn't wait to get to work and tell them..."See, it wasn't my fault!"  You see, when you're a parent, you always have someone to blame.  I said I wasn't disorganized and scattered.  I never said I was loyal.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Costco--the True Self Comes Out

Most of us have had this experience.  The big bulk warehouse store.  We go in with our mega carts and carefully weave around 60 in. HD televisions, orphaned children, and clothes abandoned carelessly in the middle of the aisle.  We go in hopes of stocking up on our supplies so we won't have to experience this particular form of torture for at least a month.

Then there's my family.  We go just for the samples and maybe pick up some milk and bananas while we're there.  No matter how prepared I try making myself, it's never enough for the chaos that meets me.  I patiently wait for my sample (it'll be just another 3minutes).  2 minutes left, it's just me and my cart, kids and husband in tow.  1 minute left, a father with 3 kids carefully wedges in front of my cart.  5 seconds left, the bees are swarming.  1 minute later, my hands are bare and my stomach is still empty.  How did that happen?  I was so good and was waiting very nicely.  I wait for the second batch.  The same thing happens, except this time, two of my children were quick enough to make a grab.  By now the demonstrator is starting to feel bad for me.  The next batch, she holds the tray over to my family and lets us get first dibs.  All this for a small morsel?!! 

My last experience at Costco was probably my best.  I told myself I could wait and it would be okay; I'd eventually get the sample.  It also allowed me to find joy in my experience.  There is nothing funner than watching a 60-yr-old man push a 10-yr-old out of his way to make sure there was still a sample for him.  It's interesting to see humans at their most barbaric.  Have you ever been in a car and honked at someone who cut you off and then realized it was your child's teacher?  Okay, that hasn't happened to me, but it could.  We allow ourselves to turn into these vicious creatures with no regard for the next person because we need our slice of sausage (it WAS good sausage).  From now on, I will allow Costco to be my social experiment.  If you wait long enough, there will be someone worth watching; the one that sees that you've been waiting and will hand deliver your sample.  I realize that nobody is at their best when they are hungry, but being at Costco, it was a small glimpse into some people's trues selves.  It's the ones that let my kids get a cookie slice before they took one for themselves that lead me to believe it's all going to be okay.  There are plenty of ugly people out there, but there are also plenty of beauties.  Find those ones and it'll all be good. Don't waste your emotions on the others.